That Trauma? Let It Go!


Most of us have accepted past life trauma as a part of us. Thus, creating a life built on unresolved issues and unhealed pain. Emotional trauma is the result of a series of troubling events or a single event that weighs heavy on us emotionally, mentally and in some cases physically. There were a lot of things that impacted me emotionally and mentally in my younger years that took me forever to heal from. The emotional and psychological trauma from past traumatic experiences in my life is the result of the anxiety that I still struggle with this very day. (Click here for holistic tips on coping with anxiety.) Today, I still find myself healing from past traumas. The deep rooted emotional wounds that we bear are often hard to accept, acknowledge and tackle. For some of us, it’s a fear of reliving the past. For others of us, it’s the attempt to block out the past by keeping it all bottled up because the idea of reliving the pain is far too much.

Our most destructive, repetitive patterns within our personal relationships and with ourselves can in most cases be rooted to our deepest emotional and psychological traumas. The root of what is unhealed does not and will not heal on its own. When it is masked, the root continues to grow. Leaving us burdened by the pains of our past. Most of us deny ourselves healing by seeking emotional aid through external forces. We don’t understand that relying on others to fill our voids is an addition to the problem and not a solution. In the search for emotional security, our natural response to any past traumatic experience is to find a way to block it out or mask the pain with something else.  We attempt to heal the pain or feel the void by consciously or subconsciously seeking emotional, sometimes physical aid in others. In most cases, we think healing our trauma is using people to make us feel better about what we’ve experienced not realizing that this is only a temporary solution.

Abandonment was something that I’ve struggled with a vast majority of my life. For years, I was subconsciously attaching to unhealthy people and situations to substitute this fear of abandonment. I needed others to make up for having felt this way in the past. I created a false belief system about myself. It was my fault that those I loved weren’t around when I needed them to be. I wasn’t good enough for them to be in my life. These feelings of inadequacy caused me to search high and low for what I thought I needed in others instead of healing and trusting that what I needed was within. Most of us go on to neglect our healing process because we come from families whose actions were a result of our trauma and these same family members who are dealing with unresolved emotional and psychological issues of their own. The long-term effects of childhood trauma carry on well into adulthood if we don’t work on healing the issues. The trauma becomes largely impactful on how we view the world, ourselves, building relationships with others and more. To get on a healthy path to post-traumatic emotional and psychological issues start with:

Facing Yourself First

Be honest about what you feel or how your past has made you feel. Acknowledge your pain. Pretending it never happened or doesn’t exist is you choosing to live with it. It's you choosing denial over healing. Allow yourself to feel it and live it. If the feelings of the past are coming up, let them. If the feelings continue to resurface it’s for no other reason than to heal them once and for all.

Let Go of Feelings of Unworthiness and Rejection 

You are worthy. You are loved. You owe it to yourself to not only believe this but to honor this. When others reject us it is often the Universe's way of sending us on a path to greater. However, the pain doesn’t allow us to see it in a positive perspective. It is said, rejection triggers the same pathways in our brain as physical pain, which is one reason why it becomes so difficult to cope when others depart from our lives unexpectedly. Trust that others choosing to walk out of your life is not and will never be a reflection of you.

Seek Self-Fulfillment

When we’re victims of trauma we tend to harbor on that energy. We become it. We also adopt the art of affirming negative self-fulfilling prophecies over our lives. Fill yourself with love. Choose positive self-talk. Build yourself up emotionally and mentally. While it can be hard, the more you invest in yourself the easier it becomes. Reinforce your own beauty and power without relying on external forces to do it for you.

Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed. 

WellnessAmber Janae